I’ve been kind of busy and distracted recently, but I’m back to translating now. Luca’s Cosmosphere level 6 is nearly ready, pending my usual quick proofreading/sanity check, but for now, here’s a tasty excerpt to nibble on. Though maybe I should avoid food metaphors, considering it’s Luca….
Spoilers follow. Of course.
EN::Yes. My heart is made up with a lot of
personalities that are rejecting myself.
Self rejecting me, regretful me...
NEW:Right. In my heart are a lot of parts of
myself I don't like and deny as part of me.
Messing up and having regrets, getting timid
when dealing with people....
EN::Me who is holding back, me who runs
away from everything...
NEW:Not being able to say what I want
and beating myself up about it later,
running away from unpleasant things
and regretting it.
EN::All those stresses come and stay here,
and all that energy turns into lava and
pours into this world.
NEW:Those feelings all collect here.
And they turn into a sea of lava and
overflow into this world.
These aren’t personalities that are rejecting herself, these are aspects of herself she wants to get rid of. Here, they’re specifically habitual behavior that she’s dissatisfied with. The descriptions of these traits are fairly off, and trying to personify them with “~ me” and “me who ~” is both awkward and unnecessary. She’s listing examples of things she does.
Luca’s Cosmosphere level 5 spoilers ahead.
I’m nearly done with level 5, just need to finish rechecking and cleaning it up a bit. I hit this part while doing that, though, and it seemed like prime blogging material. So here you go:
EN::It was Mizune who grew all those roses.
NEW:Like I said before, this was caused by
that girl Mizune who grew the roses.
EN::How did she do that? Weren’t you
suspicious of her? And if not,
then why are you of me?
NEW:What did you think of her?
If you weren't wary of her, or only faintly,
you played right into "my" hands.
EN::That is how I...Luca wants it.
NEW:That’s my... "Luca's" way.
Lines 11 and 13 miss the point, and that’s bad enough, but what happened on line 12? No one ever suggested that Croix was suspicious of witch Luca. She’s trying to get the point across that Luca is a very devious person, and her example is that Mizune fouled things up horribly for Croix without rousing his suspicions at all. That’s the way Luca does things. So maybe Croix ought to be suspicious of witch Luca after all, since even though she’s helping him, she’s still Luca, and by her own admission, devious… but her tale doesn’t unfold until level 6, so I won’t confirm or deny anything here.
I’m scanning Luca’s earlier levels for interesting tidbits now. This one’s from level 1:
So maybe it’s just me, but the JP text seems to establish Luca’s need for other people’s approval and sensitivity to what they think of her more quickly and powerfully than the US version.
EN::We won’t get into trouble. We can do anything.
NEW:No matter what we do, we won’t get anyone mad
at us in this world.
Note how the emphasis is on how she would feel about other people’s reactions. It’s not getting in trouble that she’s worried about, it’s doing something that would result in people being mad at her. The difference is subtle but important.
EN::Yep! We can’t play it in the real world since
we’re too old and people would just laugh at us.
See, if this were the real world, it would be too
embarrassing for adults to play tag, right?
EN::We can run around as much as we want without
NEW:But here, we can run around all we want, and it’s
not the least bit embarrassing since no one’s here!
Again, the emphasis is on how she would feel because of other people. It’s not playing tag that she finds embarrassing, it’s being seen playing tag.