Hello! I am nearly done retranslating Frelia’s Binary Field. Here is a feast of specimens from my recent work on it.
The word 狙う is repeatedly translated as to try to kill, when it should be something more like to go after:
EN::Somebody’s trying to kill me. Why am I chased after by the person in a penguin costume?
NEW:That someone is out to get me. And not just anyone, but some strange person in a penguin costume.
Is it that unbelievable that a woman might be rich, without being the daughter of a rich man?
EN::I’m not like a wealthy man’s daughter or anything. It’s so odd someone has been trying to get me for a long time.
NEW:I’m not that rich, so it’s weird that they keep coming after me.
Here Fururu uses “he” to refer to the person chasing her, then goes on to say that that person is a woman:
EN::Why me? There were so many other people at the cafe. He knew I wasn’t alone. Why didn’t he pick someone else?
NEW:But they could see that I had someone with me at my table. Why not choose someone who was alone?
EN::Besides, I think the person in the penguin was a woman. I don’t think she liked me.
NEW:Plus, it was a woman in that penguin suit. So I don’t think she came after me just because she was attracted.
More use of “he” for female characters:
EN::Our boss thought about it, and he wants you to come back, even though you rejected.
NEW:So with that in mind, the Boss decided to try to get you back. Regardless of your refusal.
A new favorite for awkward phrasing:
EN::I won’t let you go.
NEW:Hmph! You’re not getting away!
EN::I won’t let you not to let her go.
NEW:Stop right there. You’re not getting past me.
Total meaning breakdown:
EN::She didn’t do any help for them except stopping us from chasing Misha for a few second.
NEW:Oh, but she did succeed in buying Misha enough time to escape. Just a few seconds, though…
EN::Sorry for protecting us.
NEW:…Sorry to distract you.
EN::I didn’t protect you guys at all.
NEW:Oh, don’t worry about it.
Underwater world domination!
(No name)(130) :170:4294967295:
EN::Their power expands more and more underwater, and it is only a matter of time before they conquer the world.
NEW:The Syndicate’s underground influence expanded, until they were one step short of world conquest.
Inexplicably vulgar and inaccurate narrator:
(No name)(130) :171:4294967295:
EN::However, Kuroaki doesn’t give a shit about it.
NEW:But Kuroaki thought nothing of it. He did not disapprove in the least.
I never thought someone could mistake “dilution” for “delusion”:
EN::Let’s say…you have a big ambition. It’s almost more a dilution than an ambition.
NEW:Say you have some outrageous ambition. No, it would be better to call it a delusion than an ambition.
Mid-sentence first-person to second-person shift:
EN::But someone comes up to me, saying, “I’ll help you make your dream come true right now,” then what would you do?
NEW:What would you do if you saw, with your own eyes, an easy way to make it happen?
Collapsing a meaningful admonition into a snide dismissal:
EN::Cut the crap and be realistic, Fururu.
NEW:Don’t think about idealistic solutions. This is about more than just being able to realize your dreams for the future.
EN::Whatever ambitions, or even delusions you have are futile.
NEW:You would gain the kind of power that might let you realize even more than that delusion.
The translation here had two possible interpretations, both wrong:
EN::Their boss seems to like you, but definitely not me.
NEW:I guess the boss likes you, but the others don’t seem to.
Totally unnecessary intensification:
EN::Wiser words were never said.
NEW:…Right. I will.
Sheesh… Misspeling of a character’s name, followed by bewilderingly inappropriate crude humor.
EN::It’s not that simple. Reiju, go!
NEW:Could it be that simple? Reisu!
EN::Yes, Lady Misha. Equipment complete!
NEW:Yes, Misha−Sama. Equipped!
EN::Bring it on, Mitsubiyotchi!
NEW:…All right, show me what you’ve got!
EN::You’ll regret calling me that!
NEW:You asked for it!