Author Archives: fetjuel

Frelia’s Binary Field, fourth installment

Hello! I am nearly done retranslating Frelia’s Binary Field. Here is a feast of specimens from my recent work on it.

The word 狙う is repeatedly translated as to try to kill, when it should be something more like to go after:

Fururu(203) :2:2:
JP::私が狙われた、ってこと。
しかも、ペンギンさんのぬいぐるみを着た
変な人に狙われるなんて……。
EN::Somebody’s trying to kill me. Why am I chased after by the person in a penguin costume?
NEW:That someone is out to get me. And not just anyone, but some strange person in a penguin costume.

Is it that unbelievable that a woman might be rich, without being the daughter of a rich man?

Fururu(203) :5:5:
JP::私はそんなにお金持ちじゃないから、
前からずっと狙い続けてるのは変だし。
EN::I’m not like a wealthy man’s daughter or anything. It’s so odd someone has been trying to get me for a long time.
NEW:I’m not that rich, so it’s weird that they keep coming after me.

Here Fururu uses “he” to refer to the person chasing her, then goes on to say that that person is a woman:

Fururu(203) :7:7:
JP::テーブル見れば私以外にも連れがいるのは
わかるだろうから、一人でいる人を狙うん
じゃないかなって思うんだけど……。
EN::Why me? There were so many other people at the cafe. He knew I wasn’t alone. Why didn’t he pick someone else?
NEW:But they could see that I had someone with me at my table. Why not choose someone who was alone?

Fururu(203) :8:8:
JP::それに、あのペンギンの人は女だったから、外見が好みだったから、っていうのは無いと思うし……。
EN::Besides, I think the person in the penguin was a woman. I don’t think she liked me.
NEW:Plus, it was a woman in that penguin suit. So I don’t think she came after me just because she was attracted.

More use of “he” for female characters:

Misha(197) :121:121:
JP::ボスはそれを考えて、あなたを再び組織へ
連れ戻そうとお考えなのよ。
もっとも、あなたは拒否したけどね。
EN::Our boss thought about it, and he wants you to come back, even though you rejected.
NEW:So with that in mind, the Boss decided to try to get you back. Regardless of your refusal.

A new favorite for awkward phrasing:

Miwa(152) :129:129:
JP::くっ、逃がすか!!
EN::I won’t let you go.
NEW:Hmph! You’re not getting away!

(150) :130:130:
JP::させないわ。
ここから先は通さない。
EN::I won’t let you not to let her go.
NEW:Stop right there. You’re not getting past me.

Total meaning breakdown:

Miwa(152) :139:139:
JP::ああ、彌紗を逃がすための時間稼ぎには
なったみたいね。
数秒程度だけど……。
EN::She didn’t do any help for them except stopping us from chasing Misha for a few second.
NEW:Oh, but she did succeed in buying Misha enough time to escape. Just a few seconds, though…

Kuroaki(202) :140:140:
JP::……悪かったな。
変な気を使わせて。
EN::Sorry for protecting us.
NEW:…Sorry to distract you.

Miwa(152) :141:141:
JP::別に、気なんかつかってないわ。
EN::I didn’t protect you guys at all.
NEW:Oh, don’t worry about it.

Underwater world domination!

(No name)(130) :170:4294967295:
JP::組織の勢力拡大は人々の知らないところで
進んでいき、世界征服まで後一歩のところ
まで来ていた。
EN::Their power expands more and more underwater, and it is only a matter of time before they conquer the world.
NEW:The Syndicate’s underground influence expanded, until they were one step short of world conquest.

Inexplicably vulgar and inaccurate narrator:

(No name)(130) :171:4294967295:
JP::だが、畔章はそれについては何も思わない。何も不満はない。
EN::However, Kuroaki doesn’t give a shit about it.
NEW:But Kuroaki thought nothing of it. He did not disapprove in the least.

I never thought someone could mistake “dilution” for “delusion”:

Kuroaki(202) :19:19:
JP::自分にはとてつもない目標があったとする。それはもう、目標というよりはただの妄想と言った方がいい目標だ。
EN::Let’s say…you have a big ambition. It’s almost more a dilution than an ambition.
NEW:Say you have some outrageous ambition. No, it would be better to call it a delusion than an ambition.

Mid-sentence first-person to second-person shift:

Kuroaki(202) :21:21:
JP::それがもし、簡単に叶えられるというのを
実際に自分の目で見たら、どうする?
EN::But someone comes up to me, saying, “I’ll help you make your dream come true right now,” then what would you do?
NEW:What would you do if you saw, with your own eyes, an easy way to make it happen?

Collapsing a meaningful admonition into a snide dismissal:

Miwa(152) :24:24:
JP::模範解答はやめなさい。
それに、将来の夢を叶えるってレベルの
安い話じゃないのよ。
EN::Cut the crap and be realistic, Fururu.
NEW:Don’t think about idealistic solutions. This is about more than just being able to realize your dreams for the future.

Meaning reversal:

Miwa(152) :26:26:
JP::その妄想以上のことだって、自分の手で
叶えることが出来るかもしれない可能性を
手に入れることが出来る。
EN::Whatever ambitions, or even delusions you have are futile.
NEW:You would gain the kind of power that might let you realize even more than that delusion.

The translation here had two possible interpretations, both wrong:

Miwa(152) :53:53:
JP::ボスはあなたを気にいってるらしいけど、
他の人間はあなたを嫌ってるみたいだしね。
EN::Their boss seems to like you, but definitely not me.
NEW:I guess the boss likes you, but the others don’t seem to.

Totally unnecessary intensification:

Kuroaki(202) :11:11:
JP::……ですね。
そうします。
EN::Wiser words were never said.
NEW:…Right. I will.

Sheesh… Misspeling of a character’s name, followed by bewilderingly inappropriate crude humor.

Misha(197) :50:50:
JP::そう簡単にいくかしら?
麗珠!!
EN::It’s not that simple. Reiju, go!
NEW:Could it be that simple? Reisu!

Reish(151) :51:51:
JP::はい、彌紗様。
……装着!!
EN::Yes, Lady Misha. Equipment complete!
NEW:Yes, Misha−Sama. Equipped!

Reish(151) :52:52:
JP::……さあ、どこからでもかかってらっしゃい。
EN::Bring it on, Mitsubiyotchi!
NEW:…All right, show me what you’ve got!

Miwa(152) :53:53:
JP::後悔してもしらないわよ!!
EN::You’ll regret calling me that!
NEW:You asked for it!

More of Frelia’s Binary Field

Hi folks! Frelia’s Binary Field continues to be a challenge and a fascinating source of problematic translation specimens. Spoilers ahead.

Reversal of intent:

Reisha(18) :7:7:
JP::冷静に返さないで!!
寂しくなるじゃない……。
EN::Please don’t seriously answer. I’m just kidding.
NEW:Don’t be so cold! You’re making make me miserable…

The intransitive usage of “envy” is a pretty strong indicator that this wasn’t written or edited by a native English speaker:

Reisha(18) :12:12:
JP::ベタベタはしてるじゃない!!
見せびらかしてるじゃない!!
羨ましいのは当然じゃない!!
EN::You are! You guys just show off how intimate you are! Of course I envy!
NEW:You are too! Clinging together like that, showing it off to everyone! Of course I’m jealous!

Kuroaki(202) :13:13:
JP::ベタベタも見せびらかしても羨ましく
思わせてもいませんって。
EN::We aren’t showing off. There is nothing you should envy over.
NEW:We’re not clinging together, we’re not showing off, and there’s nothing to be jealous about.

Blindly translating “〜そう” as “Looks —” is kinda bewildering:

Fururu(203) :72:72:
JP::あ、それじゃあ美羽さんのところ
行ってみようよ。
あの人、何でも知ってそうな感じだし。
EN::Okay, let’s go to Miwa’s place.
She looks very knowledgeable.
NEW:Oh, let’s go to see Miu. She seems to know all sorts of things.

Referring to someone who is not there as “you”:

Fururu(203) :4:4:
JP::えっと、実は今お仕事中なの。
それでちょっと美羽さんにお話が
あるんだけど……。
EN::Well, we’re actually working right now. I want to talk to you for a second, Miwa.
NEW:Umm, we’re actually working right now. So, we need to talk to Miu about something.

Skycat(30) :5:5:
JP::ああ、美羽ちゃんね……。
EN::Miwa, is it right? Ok.
NEW:Oh, Miu-chan…?

Skycat(30) :6:6:
JP::彼女なら……もう、ここにはいないわ。
EN::She’s already left here.
NEW:She… isn’t here.

Too much artistic license, turning a sweet Rakshek maid into a surly American eighth-grader:

Skycat(30) :11:11:
JP::警察沙汰にならなかったからよかったものの、まったく……。
あの子はメイドを何だと思ってるのかしら?
EN::Luckily, no one called the police, but we were all freaked out…She’s such a psycho.
NEW:Thankfully the police didn’t have to get involved, but really… What does she think it means to be a maid, anyway?

Weird meaning changes, and an exhibit of how the localizers apparently think that Japanese honorifics are too foreign, but “moe” is just fine:

Henta(198) :12:12:
JP::心の癒しさ。
EN::Healing.
NEW:Comfort for the heart.

Fururu(203) :13:13:
JP::心の卑しさ?
EN::Peeping?
NEW:Corruption for the heart?

Henta(198) :14:14:
JP::そ、そんなメイドさんも素敵だ……。
卑しいメイドさん、萌えるじゃないか!!
EN::Actually, I’d love such a maid. A peeping maid. She would be so moe!
NEW:Th- that sounds like a fine maid-san. A corrupt maid-san would be so moe!

Getting worse than spotty

I just got through the biggest file in Frelia’s Binary Field, and it contains quite a lot of dangerously meaning-altering translation problems. Of course, some mild to severe spoilers are scattered throughout.

Lost meaning:

Kuroaki(202) :26:26:
JP::(前はよく一緒に遠出したりもしてたけど、最近は組織を警戒して、出かけるとしても
近場ばかりだったしな……)
EN::(We’ve been to so many places, but because of the Syndicate, I haven’t gone out that often.)
NEW:(We used to go out together a lot, but now we don’t go very far, for fear of the Syndicate…)

Lost subject:

Fururu(203) :42:42:
JP::畔章、前の会社が気に入ってた
みたいだし。
EN::I really liked your old job better.
NEW:It seemed like you really liked that job.

Intentionally-altered personalities?:

Fururu(203) :64:64:
JP::そんな期待、しちゃったりして……。
えへへ……。
EN::It seems I was right.
NEW:So I just kind of hoped… Hehehe…

Kuroaki(202) :65:65:
JP::……そうか。
EN::Hahaha…
NEW:…I see.

Altered personality:

Fururu(203) :70:70:
JP::そうじゃなくて、なんて言うか……。
畔章は絶対そういうの言わなそうだから、ちょっと驚いた……。
EN::Are you feeling alright? You never say nice things like that to me.
NEW:It’s not bad, it’s just… You never say that sort of thing, so I was surprised.

Absolutely reversed meaning:

Fururu(203) :87:87:
JP::うん、いいよ。
でも、すぐ戻ってきてね。
EN::Sure. Take your time.
NEW:Okay. But come back soon.

Vulgarity from a completely innocent character:

Fururu(203) :183:183:
JP::ちょ、な、なんなのぉ!?
EN::What the hell’s going on!?
NEW:Hey, wh- what’s going on!?

Mangled:

???(132) :89:89:
JP::……下手なこと、しない方がいいわよ。
あなたより早く、あなたの命を奪うの
なんて簡単なんだからね。
EN::Stop playing around. I could just eliminate her first, you know.
NEW:…You’d better not try anything. I’m faster than you, and I could easily end your life.

Meanings introduced from nowhere:

Miwa(152) :114:114:
JP::それで、話の続きは?
スリル満点の話ってだけで終わり?
それとも現実にそうなるのかしら?
EN::So, how does this story end? Do we end up killing each other, or does it depend on our choices right now?
NEW:So what happens next? Does it remain just an exciting story? Or will it become reality?

Absolutely reversed meaning that confuses characters’ pasts:

Miwa(152) :126:126:
JP::……まあ、組織と関係ない人間が狙われて
いる以上、放っておくわけにはいかないしね。いいわ、引き受けてあげる。
EN::…Now that I know a defector of the Syndicate is in danger, I can’t ignore it. Okay, I accept.
NEW:…Well, someone who has nothing to do with the Syndicate is being targeted. I can’t let that stand. I accept.

Misspelled character name!?

Kuroaki(202) :142:142:
JP::お、おまえは……澪羅!?
EN::You’re…really Moira!?
NEW:You’re… Miora!?

Wrong:

Kuroaki(202) :151:151:
JP::……最初から信用していないのに、
俺に任務を与えたのか?
EN::You gave me those tasks because you knew I wouldn’t go through with them?
NEW:You gave me the mission even though you never trusted me?

Totally inexplicable introduction of a term of address from the Ottoman Empire!?!?

Reish(151) :160:160:
JP::……私、この店のペンギン担当なの。
よろしくペンペン。
EN::I’m the penguin-type maid at this cafe. Nice too meet you, effendi.
NEW:…I am on penguin duty at this cafe. Nice to meet you! Pen-pen!

“This morning” to refer to something that happened four days prior in the story continuity:

Kuroaki(202) :165:165:
JP::ぬいぐるみ……そういえば、前に
ぬいぐるみに追われたって……。
EN::A penguin costume? Actually, she said she was chased around by someone in an animal costume this morning…
NEW:A stuffed animal… Oh, she mentioned that she was being followed by a stuffed animal…

Ultra-compact error:

Fururu(203) :171:171:
JP::うん!!
EN::Huh?
NEW:Yeah!

Frelia’s Binary Field is spotty

Hello! The atmosphere of this project is getting pretty exciting again, with not much left to do and some very talented new contributors. Myself, I’m working on Frelia’s Binary Field, the last major chunk of story to be retranslated. I don’t know quite why, but the quality in these particular files is all over the board. Some of it is totally fine, even sometimes mildly inspired, idiomatic English. Other times the translation hardly makes sense, let alone accurately captures the original meaning. Here are some examples. Of course, some mild to severe spoilers are scattered throughout.

Something missing here:

Kuroaki(202) :49:49:
JP::俺がこの任務に成功したら、
俺たちは自由に……。
EN::If you complete the missions.
NEW:If I complete this mission, we’ll be free…

Actually not a man, and there’s no mention of a costume:

Fururu(203) :17:17:
JP::朝から大きいヌイグルミの人に
追い回されたんだからね!!
EN::I was chased around by a big weird man in an animal costume this morning.
NEW:I got chased around by a huge stuffed animal all morning!

Awkward and kinda meaningless:

Reisha(18) :19:19:
JP::でもまあ、始業時間なんてあってないようなもんだから、いいんじゃないかしら?
EN::Our working hours’re not very clear, so that’s fine.
NEW:Anyway, our working hours are not strictly set, so it’s no big deal.

Fururu(203) :20:20:
JP::うん、そうだよね!!
時間で束縛するのはよくないよね。
EN::Yes It’s unethical to keep people by hours.
NEW:That’s right! It’s bad to restrict people’s time.

“In a second” means “right now”.

Fururu(203) :1:1:
JP::うん、入りまくりだよ!
私の推理で一発で見つけちゃうよ。
EN::Uh-huh. I’ll find it in a second
with my reasoning skills.
NEW:Yeah, I’m totally ready! With my detective skills, we’ll find it in no time!

This really does not sound like someone who has been searching for a suitcase with you for four days!

Fururu(203) :0:0:
JP::それにしても、本当に見つからないよね。
EN::By the way, it’s hard to find the suitcase.
NEW:Anyway, it seems like we can’t find this suitcase anywhere!

Pretty drastic meaning shift:

Fururu(203) :10:10:

JP::っていうか、一年以上働いてて一回も
殺人事件がないなんて変だよね。
EN::It’s not like a murder case anyway. It’s so boring.
NEW:And like, it’s weird that in a year of working we haven’t had a single murder case.

Honorifics

When translating from Japanese, you need to consider how to treat honorifics: *-san, -chan, -senpai,* and so on. In a lot of pop culture, localizers have started just leaving them in and thus preserving their meanings; if your audience is Japanese pop culture aficionados, then you can trust them to understand. This works when the story is set in Japan, but it is odd when English butlers or medieval swordsmen go around calling people *-kun*.

In most cases, it is best to simply translate the honorific when it sounds natural in the target language, and drop it otherwise. Think about how the characters would actually address each other if English was their native language: classmates don’t use titles for each other, but adults are often called Mr. or Mrs. So-and-So.

Of course, the Ar tonelico 2 localization offers a middle-ground approach that results in the worst of both worlds. They translate every honorific, regardless of whether it makes sense. So, you get high school students calling each other “Ms.”, a senpai called “Master”, and so on. The dialogue ends up at least as awkward as it would have been with the Japanese honorifics, but without the nuances of the original words for people who know them. This policy continues throughout otherwise Japanese-culture-saturated parts of the game.

In our relocalization, we’re taking a hybrid approach. Almost everywhere, we translate addresses to be as natural as possible for native English speakers. But in the fantasy side-stories that take place in a fictionalized Japan, full of references to Japanese school life and popular culture, it makes sense to include the original honorifics. When the character is a moe-crazy otaku in a maid cafe, seeing him address someone as “-san” is not going to bring the story crashing down.

The official localization’s honorifics policy is odd for a game that [included “moe” as a bullet point](http://heta.metalbat.com/?p=1034) in its marketing.

Cosmosphere Error Fest 2009

Cloche’s Cosmosphere is complete at long last. Here is a smorgasbord of problems from the last two levels. Of course, some mild to severe spoilers are scattered throughout.

How can you perform in front of someone that is somewhere they need to be lured out of?

Cloche(1) :4:4:
JP::そうよ。
おもてなしするのなら、
やっぱり綺麗な音楽でご招待したいじゃない。
EN::Yes. We should lure them out by performing in front of them.
NEW:Yes, if we want to welcome them, what better way than with lovely music?

What.

Cloche(1) :17:17:
JP::貴方のお陰で、私は自らがしたいこと…自らが成すべき事を主張することの大切さを知ったわ…。
EN::I got to realize how important it is to know what I want to do, and to voice it out…
NEW:You showed me the importance of asserting what I want to… what I ought to accomplish.

NISA decided to change the name of one of Cloche’s personas, for some reason. Reisu became Reish, which is particularly confusing because Luca’s mother’s name is Reisha. Midorino became Ryokuya, which can be gotten phonetically from the same kanji 緑野, but the voice track makes it obvious. On level 3:

???(132) :18:18:
JP::クローシェ!?誰よそれ。
私はレイス。緑野麗珠よ。
EN::Cloche!? Who? I’m Reish. Reish Ryokuya.
NEW:Who’s Cloche? I’m Reisu. Reisu Midorino.

Ah, and the confusion with Reisha comes through at the end of the Cosmosphere. NISA themselves had Croix call Cloche’s persona by Luca’s mother’s name on Level 9:

Croix(3) :2:2:
JP::貴方は…麗珠さん…。
学園世界での歌…とっても上手でした。
また一緒にカラオケに行きましょう。
EN::You are… Miss Reisha… You were such a good singer. I would want to go to karaoke with you again.
NEW:You’re… Miss Reisu. The great singer from the school world. Let’s go to karaoke again some time.

Plenty of Japanese words have several English words that they could be translated as, depending on the intention. Here Cloche’s use of “important” makes it seem like she has some unimportant personas. No, she is just describing the way she feels about all of her personas: they’re precious.

Cloche(1) :5:5:
JP::貴方は私の大切な人格の1人…
『可能性』の資源を持つ人格よ…。
EN::You are one of my important personalities… You possess the “Possibility”…
NEW:You are one of my precious personas. You bear the trait of “Potential”.

Similarly, throughout the final level, the ceremonial greeting, acknowledgment, and thanking of the personas is called “approving”. This makes it seem like the personas are being judged somehow, or going through some bureaucratic process. The original word 承認 has a lot of possible translations, and “recognition” is much more appropriate.

(105) :6:6:
JP::…ありがとう…私を承認してくれて。
EN::…Thank you… for approving me.
NEW:Thank you… for recognizing me.

A case of not taking the previous line of dialogue into account.

Croix(3) :31:31:
JP::クローシェ様!まだ大丈夫ですよ!
EN::Lady Cloche! We can’t give up yet!
NEW:Lady Cloche! It’s still all right!

Cloche(1) :32:32:
JP::無理よ!
キュオールが出てこなければ…これ以上の
人格は復活できないのだから…
EN::I can’t! We can’t get all the personalities back without Cural…
NEW:It’s hopeless! Without Cural, we can’t bring back any more personas…

Another important word in the final level was translated as “invite”. While that is certainly the most common translation for 招待, it doesn’t make sense if you pay attention to the story. Croix and Cloche have to magically bring the personas from their homes, and when they arrive they are confused of where they are and how they got there. Clearly they weren’t *invited,* they were *summoned.*

(105) :1:1:
JP::…私…一体…
どうしてここに…
EN::…Why… why am I here…
NEW:Why… Why am I here…

Croix(3) :2:2:
JP::貴方にお礼を言うために、
この階層へ招待させていただいたのです。
EN::We’ve invited you here to give you our appreciation.
NEW:We’ve summoned you to this stratum to thank you.

“That’s true.” Disgraceful.

(105) :3:3:
JP::私が元凶なのに…
此の私という存在を消し去ってしまった元凶なのに…私にそんな資格…ありません…。
EN::I’m the root of everything… I was the one who destroyed myself… I don’t… deserve this…
NEW:But it’s all my fault…. I’m the one who erased the existence known as “me”…. I don’t… deserve thanks.

Croix(3) :4:4:
JP::そんなこと有りません。
貴方はとても格式高く、誉れ高い存在です。
EN::That’s true. You are a very
traditional, and proud person.
NEW:That’s not true. You are very dignified and honorable.

NISA loves to use “you guys” for 貴方達, regardless of how inappropriate such a familiar form of address is for the situation.

(105) :3:3:
JP::私なんて、破壊するだけし尽くして、何も生んでいないのに…何故私にお礼なんか。
もしかしてお礼って…
EN::I didn’t do anything but to destroy… Appreciation… Are you guys actually going to…
NEW:I have done nothing but eradicate. I have provided nothing. Why would you thank me? Unless by “thanks” you actually mean…

“Courage to get … and accepting it”. It’s painful for me to see this sort of sloppy speech attributed to Chroche Leythal Pastalie.

Cloche(1) :5:5:
JP::貴方が勇気を出して触れてくれた辛い過去の傷は、今の私にとってとても大きな価値になっています…。ありがとう。
EN::Your courage to get in touch with the painful past and accepting it is very valuable to me… thank you.
NEW:Your courage to touch the painful wounds of the past is of great value to me now. Thank you.

The [completion ceremony](http://www.at2.metalbat.com/?p=291) wasn’t just poorly translated. It was poorly translated in two different ways, like the [flashbacks in level 6-R](http://www.at2.metalbat.com/?p=149).

Level 7:

(25) :28:28:
JP::そなたは、そなたの持つ心の全てをクロアに預け、嘘偽りない己を、彼に捧げてきた事を誓いますか?
EN::Do you pledge here today that you have given your all to Croix and showed him everything with no lies?
NEW:Do you vow that you have offered your heart, truly and sincerely, to Croix?

Level 9:

(25) :19:19:
JP::そなたは、そなたの持つ心の全てをクロアに預け、嘘偽りない己を、彼に捧げてきた事を誓いますか?
EN::Do you hereby solemnly swear that you have given your all to Croix and showed him everything with no deceptions?
NEW:Do you vow that you have offered your heart, truly and sincerely, to Croix?

Complete meaning breakdown:

(25) :67:67:
JP::これは、自分自身への大きな自信へと繋がるわ。そうすると、今まで出来なかった大きな事を成し遂げることが出来るようになる。
EN::This will lead to having great confidence toward the future. I will be able to do something you could not.
NEW:This will grant you great confidence in yourself. And that leads to the ability to accomplish great things you never could before.

Le sigh. NISA decided to change Infel Phira, a crucial entity in the game, to Infel Pira. There’s no clear reason for this, and like other changes (“Trulyworth”), it corrupts [a Hymmnos word with a real meaning](http://hamsterx.homelinux.org/hymmnoserver/search.php?word=phira). Fine. But they also didn’t consistently translate it, so that in places, it become “Pillar”, a completely unrelated and inapt English word.

(25) :5:5:
JP::クローシェはI.P.D.だから、詩魔法サーバーは『インフェル・ピラ』。
EN::Cloche’s Magic Server is called “Infel Pillar”, since she is an I.P.D.
NEW:Because Cloche is an IPD, her Song Magic Server is Infel Phira.

(25) :6:6:
JP::彼女が謳う時その力は、空に浮かぶあの
『インフェル・ピラ』から送られてくるの。
EN::She receives her power from that floating Infel Pillar when she sings magic.
NEW:When she sings, the power comes from Infel Phira, floating in the sky.

This is wrong.

(25) :7:7:
JP::今までクローシェは、その送られてくる力で自分の魔法を具現化しているに過ぎなかった。
EN::Cloche’s magic was being controlled by the power she received.
NEW:So far, Cloche has only been using that power to manifest her own magic.

(25) :8:8:
JP::でも、今から行う儀式は、その『インフェル・ピラ』を直接制御出来るようにするのよ。
EN::We will conduct a ceremony now, so that she can control the power herself.
NEW:But the ceremony we are about to perform will allow her to control Infel Phira directly.

(25) :9:9:
JP::そうすることで、インフェル・ピラ自体を、強力な詩魔法として使うことが出来るようになるわ。
EN::That way, she will be able to fully utilize the Infel Pillar.
NEW:Then, she will be able to use Infel Phira itself as an extremely powerful Song Magic.

Wouldn’t have be able indeed.

Croix(3) :5:5:
JP::…何にしても、助かった。
お前の力が無ければ、ここまで来る事は出来なかったよ。
EN::…Either way, you did save me. I wouldn’t have be able to be standing here without you.
NEW:Either way, you saved me. Without you, I wouldn’t have made it this far.

One of the greatest disappointments of the localization of Cloche’s Cosmosphere was how often Infel’s gloriously awful [puns](http://www.at2.metalbat.com/?p=108) went completely ignored, while the *reactions* to them were left in place. One of the greatest joys, though, was coming up with equally awful puns that work in English. To have such a challenging one at the end of level 9 was like a little parting gift from the Soulspace to me.

(25) :8:8:
JP::今だから言うけど、ここまで壮絶なコスモスフィアって、なかなか類がないわよ。
EN::I can tell you this now, but you will not see a Cosmosphere like this.
NEW:I can tell you now, this Cosmosphere was monumental like not too many are.

Croix(3) :9:9:
JP::…そうなのか!?
EN::…Really!?
NEW:Really!?

(25) :10:10:
JP::ええ。私が動揺するくらいは、ハンパじゃなかったわ。
EN::I hardly ever panic like I did.
NEW:Yeah, if it’s enough to shake me, it’s really something.

Croix(3) :11:11:
JP::そうか…。
そうだよな…随分と苦労したもんな…。
EN::I see.. You’re right.. It was a lot of work…
NEW:I see. You’re right, though, it was quite a struggle.

(25) :12:12:
JP::ま、そうね。
クローシェとクロアだけに、クロウも
ひとしお…って感じ?
EN::Yes, Croix and Cloche, you guys are full of trouble…
NEW:Yep. By the close, I was pretty shaken… Close, shaken. Clo-che.

Croix(3) :13:13:
JP::…。
EN::…
NEW:…

(25) :14:14:
JP::な、何よ!!
EN::W, what!
NEW:W- what!

Croix(3) :15:15:
JP::…最後の最後で、大ダメージを喰らったな…。
EN::…That was pretty painful…
NEW:You saved the absolute worst for the very end…

Ceremonies

Serious spoilers for Cloche’s Cosmosphere.

There are two completion ceremonies in Cloche’s Cosmosphere; one fake and one genuine. I am partway through translating the real one (which means I’m almost done with the whole Cosmosphere!) and it reminded me of the poor treatment of the false one.

The completion ceremony, one of the main goals of the Ar tonelico games, is supposed to be the most uplifting, deeply meaningful section of the entire Cosmosphere. It’s the culmination of hours upon hours of becoming spiritually entwined with the heroine. What a disappointment it must have been for people to have to dig through this text to find the sentiments it obscured. Here are some big, representative chunks of both ceremonies.

Level 7, at the fake ceremony.

(25) :2:2:
JP::完了の儀式というのは、貴方がクローシェの全てを見て、そして全てを受け入れたことを承認する儀式なの。
EN::Ending ceremony approves the fact that you have seen and accepted all of Cloche.
NEW:The completion ceremony recognizes that you have seen and accepted Cloche’s whole being.

(25) :3:3:
JP::それは、クローシェ自身と貴方の双方がその事を認め合うことで行われるわ。
EN::You can conduct it by both of you two agreeing to that fact.
NEW:It’s conducted by you and Cloche acknowledging that to one another.

(25) :5:5:
JP::しっかり完了すれば、貴方と彼女の絆はとても強くなる。その証となる詩魔法も紡げるの。
EN::If you complete it right, the ties between you two will be stronger, and you will acquire a magic to prove that.
NEW:If you complete it properly, the bonds between you will become much stronger. You’ll be able to craft the song magic that signifies it.

[…]

(25) :18:18:
JP::えーと…遂にこの時がやってきました。
クローシェは、幾多もの困難を乗り越え…
EN::Err… The time is finally here. Cloche has over come many obstacles…
NEW:Err… The time has come at last. Cloche has overcome many hardships…

(25) :19:19:
JP::えと、果てしないパラダイムシフトをし…
ここまでたどり着きました。
EN::and um, provoked countless Paradigm Shifts… and finally got to this point.
NEW:…and um, performed countless Paradigm Shifts… and made it to this point.

(25) :28:28:
JP::そなたは、そなたの持つ心の全てをクロアに預け、嘘偽りない己を、彼に捧げてきた事を誓いますか?
EN::Do you pledge here today that you have given your all to Croix and showed him everything with no lies?
NEW:Do you vow that you have offered your heart, truly and sincerely, to Croix?

Level 9, at the real ceremony.

(25) :8:8:
JP::貴方は、クローシェの全てを見て、全てを受け入れ、そして全てを許してここまでやってきました。
EN::You have seen and accepted everything about Cloche, and given her chances.
NEW:You have seen everything, received everything, and accepted everything of Cloche’s being.

(25) :9:9:
JP::ここ第9階層では、完了…すなわち今までの全てを承認する儀式を行っていきます。
EN::This floor represents the completion… in other words, we will conduct the ceremony for approval.
NEW:In this, the 9th stratum, the completion ceremony is performed… that is, the recognition of everything that has come to pass.

Croix(3) :10:10:
JP::完了?
全ての承認…?
EN::Completion? For approval…?
NEW:Completion? The recognition of everything?

[…]

Croix(3) :15:15:
JP::宝石がなにも無いな…。
EN::There is no jewels on it…
NEW:There isn’t a single jewel on it.

(25) :16:16:
JP::そう。良く解ったわね。
この宝石を、これから貴方達2人で
集めてくるの。
EN::Good, you noticed. You two are going to go find the jewels to put on it from here.
NEW:You noticed. You two are about to go and collect the jewels for it.

True Love

This pair of lines struck me as somehow hilarious.

Cloche(1) :113:113: 
JP::…大好き…
EN::...I love you...

Croix(3) :114:114:
JP::…パラダイムシフト!!
EN::...Paradigm Shift!

Bits, Bobs

Hello, friends. Since my last update, I’ve been tremendously busy at work, moving into my first house, sick, caring for my sick wife, entertaining my brother and parents from out of town, and catching up on video games.

But the more Ar tonelico 3 news that comes out, the more excited I get about the series, so I have been squeezing in some translation here and there. If nothing else, we should definitely complete this project before At3 comes out in English!

Here are a few odd little lines I came across in the deeper levels of Cloche’s Cosmosphere. I’m quite looking forward to finishing her Soulspace so that I can move on to Frelia’s binary field. From what I hear, that’s one of the most hastily-localized bits of the game, so it ought to be a challenging exercise.

Cloche(1) :48:48: 
JP::もう、思い出すのも嫌だった…忘れたままでいたかった…
EN::I didn't want to remember it... I wanted to keep forgetting it...
NEW:I didn't want to remember... I wanted to just forget about it...

Croix(3) :2:2:
JP::…意地でも実験の邪魔はさせないってわけか。
EN::...You won't let me interrupt the lab, huh?
NEW:So, you're here to keep me from interrupting the experiment?

JP::でも、その痛みを耐えられなかったクローシェは、
自らの人格から幼い記憶だけを完全に分離し、追放したの…
EN::She purposely cut off that memory and completely let it go...
NEW:But, unable to endure the pain, 
she isolated the memory and banished it from her own persona.

Less Unhappy

A glaring mistake in one of the game’s most crucial dramatic scenes.

Cloche(1) :64:64: 
JP::どうせ後に不幸が待ってるなら、
最初から不幸の方がいいんだもん… ぐすっ…
EN::If I have to go through the pain of losing you someday, 
I'd rather be less unhappy the whole time... *sob*
NEW:If sadness will just be waiting for me anyway, 
I'd rather be sad to begin with. *sob*